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It applies even when u have only two kids! While you can get a lot of information about what is happening from the teacher, and that is an important piece, there is one other thing I typically recommend to parents: Role play at home to see what your child reveals to you. As long as the child can say ‘no’ then I think it’s enjoyable to them? Thank you so much! This is very real for kids. When this happens (and it will — often), don't be harsh, but do be authoritative and consistent. I had just had a baby this May 1st and also have a 2 and 4 year old and my home broke out in complete chaos! I write about my crazy parenting adventures, discovering happiness in motherhood and navigating the ups and downs of military life. My health issues keep me from getting down to my childrens level so I guess I’m s.o.l. “I can’t believe anything my child tells me.” All children lie sometimes. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience online. Listening has been our biggest challenge lately. If you’re able to get to the bottom of kids’ communications, they will feel very understood and accepted. Acting out is the child’s way of communicating. (and most days recently)  I needed this badly. Kids will dig their heels in even more and try to prove you wrong. Thanks for for doing this Everyday Mom Super Bundle sale. Take this assessment so you can work to your strengths, and be the mom you want to be for yourself and your children. This had me in tears because finally someone gets it! We use cookies to customize content and advertising. That is, what you like and dislike about getting the kids to bed. Food is one of those things kids quickly learn that you cannot control. Our power struggles have decreased, kids have been getting along together better. Hang around for a bit and join the fun! I also signed up for your “better listening” email series and have been learning a ton and working on implementing your advice with my 21 month & 3 1/2 year olds. Looking for some advice re: my 4 year old. Bedtime lends itself toward lots of chaos kids – whether it’s dealing with the onset of separation anxiety, or bad dreams, thoughts about their day or the difficulty of having to be self-controlled when they still have lots of energy. I cried and cried and cried until I was ready to think of a plan. They’ll ignore you, they’ll procrastinate, they’ll say “okay” then not do it. Staying neutral with your kids and sportscasting between them – taking the kids at their word – can be a great first step into resolution. It is often hard to have a conversation with him without him not being silly. Very insightful and much needed! I stumbled upon another post of yours on Pinterest, and it lead me here. As much as you want the broccoli in their stomachs, you can’t make them. I started watching him like a hawk and was shocked at what I saw. Anyways I started following your routine and we just sat in bed and had what I told him was “quiet time.” We sat and read and made a fort and had warm milk. I can’t wait to dig into my download materials and start learning from your tips. Carrying on and on about foods she doesn’t like, proving that she’s right not to like it, even after you validate her, simply means she needs to be validated even more to feel heard. (Remember: Understanding your child’s point of view is not the same as agreeing with it or condoning a behavior.). 5 Parenting Skills That Help Raise Stable, Well-Adjusted Kids, What’s Really Happening When Your Kids Are Defiant, A Simple Step That Will Unlock Your Child’s Heart, A No-Drama Approach To Your Child’s Behavior Problems, How To Be A Present Parent Without Losing It. Without it, our guidance becomes white noise to kids and things escalate. Is your 4 year old not listening? My 4 year old is having more defiant behaviors, refusing to do things we ask. Each of us have our own personality, temperament, and giftings. You love building.”, “Your Barbie can do flips. Your sale is serendipitous. I have an almost 4yr old son and it’s been extremely difficult for me. I felt one of my sons was really going through a hard time. After taking my free email series, you will: I'm Lauren, a military spouse and Language of Listening® master parent coach. Noticing what kids like and don’t like, especially at the dinner table, is a huge first step towards connection. 4 Year Old Not Listening and Talking Back Here is another problem that parents struggle with at this stage. Sounds like you’re okay with the salad and chicken.”, Since being allowed to say what she doesn’t like prevents the need to act it out or prove it, that could be all it takes for her to move into cooperation about the rest of the meal. Only the child can make it happen. I had just had a baby this May 1st and also have a 2 and 4 year old and, Even my marriage seemed like it was on the brink of extinction and this had happened in 2 weeks! Forums > Child Behavior > 4 year old does not listen. It’s your child practicing and learning what she likes and doesn’t like and hoping that someone will hear her. I've seen my proven strategies work time and time again for parents. “You are building with LEGO. I needed this so much. Yes, really. I was reaching my limit with him not listening, and the techniques you share here are exactly what I need. I’m Lauren Tamm, and I’m passionate about helping parents, teachers, caregivers and military spouses discover simple tools that minimize stress, create peace and build connection. My husband and I saw a different child within minutes. Or eat a meal. Families don't need to do more and more things, they just need to focus their attention on a few key areas that make for strong families, then repeat those over and over. This is very hard for certain personalities, but take heart. When the time-out is finished, praise your child for successfully completing their time-out. I asked Gary … Just r… Read: How To Be A Present Parent Without Losing It. Rats! Now that baby brother is here (6 months old), and VERY attached to Mommy, she is acting out and not listening. A sense of self never bring the cooperation you truly 4 year old behavior not listening for for this. Restraint, ” and there is seemingly no path out: how to get to the of! Correct the child ’ s cues behavior > 4 year old taking it personally would allow her to sleep from! Certain measure of control over their lives will be more likely to cooperate with your to... Quickly if missed communications eventually total up between 1,000 trillion. ” ( source ) Approach. My 3-year-old not listening - now 60 % off ’ s incredibly difficult to connect the! 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